Living and Dying

Many times we don’t want to think about dying. People react to the idea of death differently. Some people ignore it totally, banishing every thought of it from their consciousness. Some other people are so completely crippled by the prospect; they can’t even live normal lives for the fear of death. But whatever end of the spectrum you find yourself, dying is a consequence of living. To be eligible for dying, you have to first live. My priest in school used to say ‘Live well to die’.
In the last couple of months, my loved ones have lost loved ones and I am once again reminded of my mortality. In reflecting on this, a number of things come to mind that I hope I will continue to remember and live by, even after the memory of these deaths have become less vivid.
The good I ought to do, I should do today. In 2012, one of my close friends was died a sudden death. About the time he died, like a few minutes before, I had a strong urge to call him and say hello but I said to myself ‘I’ll call him tomorrow’. A few hours later, I was woken up with the news that he was dead. I had passed up on the last opportunity to talk to him in this world. One of my family members tells me of someone who used to ask her for money every time she went to the village. The person asking her wasn’t a relative and she always used to feel like he hadn’t managed his life well, if not, he shouldn’t have had to ask anyone for money. Some days ago, she received news of his death and she told me that she was deeply saddened. Because it suddenly occurred to her that what he had or had not done with his life did not really matter. All that should have mattered was whether she was in a position to help and how willing she was to do so. Unfortunately, as they say, she was a day late and a dollar short.
How hurt am I, when weighed against eternity? We are all humans, with the capacity to hurt and to be hurt. There is that somebody or ‘somebodies’ that have hurt us and we say ‘I won’t forgive this person’ and then we proceed to keep malice with the person. Yet, when weighed against eternity, how hurt can you be? If you imagine that either one of you could die suddenly, does not speaking to the person still seem an attractive option? I’ve seen people lose an ‘enemy’ and their hatred suddenly transformed into regret that they didn’t get an opportunity to be reconciled.
I do know that there are people that have been hurt in a deep place. People who have had unspeakable things done to them. Hurt so bad, forgiveness is unimaginable. Yet, even such people must work to let go of the hurt, if for nothing, for the sake of their own health.
I should be thankful for each day I get. It’s easy for me to make plans for today. For tomorrow. For next year and even the next ten. As it should be, so I’m not just tossed about by the happenings around me. Yet, I wake up every morning so often that I sometimes begin to think it’s a normal thing. When good things happen to me, I take them for granted. When bad things happen, I blame God, the government, my parents, my friends, everybody except me. What if I wake up tomorrow with only the things I was grateful for today?
I should prioritize. A wise man once told me: ‘There are things you will regret not doing if you’re at the end of your life. Do those things’. Some things are urgent but not important. Some are important but not urgent. Some are urgent and important. Be wise.
I should go to bed each night knowing that I put in my best. There will be good days and bad days, but when I lay me down at night, I should be able to say that I did my best, regardless of how the day turned out.

Teach us to number our days, that we may be wise. (Ps 90:12)